Is It OK To Kiss On The First Date?

First dates can be difficult enough to navigate without spending the entire night wondering what we all are: to kiss or not to kiss on the first date. Particularly if you weren’t friends with this person prior to your date and this is one of the first times you’ve actually spent time together, reading their signals might be more complicated than you imagined. No one wants to be presumptuous or overly forward, but you also don’t want to ruin a great night with a less than mediocre close.

While some people have steadfast rules they abide by in this type of situation—think Mila Kunis’s Friends With Benefits five-date rule—for others, things are a little more open-ended. I think kissing on the first date is an important and necessary tool at your disposal to assess the future of the relationship—you know, your standard chemistry litmus test. But, for argument’s sake, I asked six single people to weigh in on the debate: Is it ever OK to kiss on a first date?

Yes, But…

As it turns out, most people agree that kissing on the first date is pretty standard procedure but not without conditions. For these guys, a kiss is a mutual sign that the date went well and that everyone’s on the same page. If they skip the kiss, it’s probably because they’re not interested in a second date or they’re too shy to make a move.

If I like her and it’s a good date, chances are I’ll want to kiss her. But 90 percent of the time, it doesn’t go that way because I try not to rush things. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to though.

–Jon, 26

If the date goes well, I think it’s OK to kiss. In fact, if the date goes well, it probably should end in a kiss because otherwise we just spent a few hours hanging out. It should feel like a date and all the magic that comes with it.

–Mo, 29


These women say kissing on the first date is an absolute must. It’s an integral part of the experience that adds to the excitement of it all. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, at least you can say you’ve been kissed in the recent past.

As long as they don’t have chapped lips then I say, ‘pucker up!’ No, seriously, I mean it. I haven’t been kissed in two years!

–Cat, 25

I think kissing on the first date is fun! It’s early enough that it can still be casual and totally exciting! I’d be disappointed if we didn’t kiss, honestly.

–Heather, 26

Not Really

Still, there are those who think it’s best to wait and they have good reason to. There’s already a lot of pressure built into the mating ritual that is the first date. Why make things more complicated or worse, catastrophic?

First dates are already awkward enough. It can be tough to have a truly great kiss with someone you don’t know that well and I wouldn’t want to do anything to ruin what could have been. I’d rather wait.

–Kay, 23

I’ve never had this work out for me to be honest. The whole thing can be a little clumsy. Why not hold out until we both know we want to kiss each other?

–Sean, 22

Unfortunately, deciding whether or not to kiss on the first date isn’t an exact science. These men and women confirm that it all comes down to circumstance and personal preference. If you find yourself wondering if to go for it or not, trust your instincts but always make sure you have consent before leaning in!


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